Dissatisfied with everything, including (and especially) my relatives, responsible for putting me into this mess.
I incubated my “egg” for many years until it became a very red volcano digging into my own bowels.
A nasty chronic disease had stealthily settled.
Hospitalized, I see myself being “invited” to go telling my story… to free the pain, the words.
You can easily picture it… !!!
As I had already tried to change EVERYTHING for others, I was more than reticent... "What is the purpose of this ?
I remember my first interview with a psychologist. He asked me to analyze my dreams. "Oh no, not that - I have better things to do. "What was I doing in this mess?!?"
I was already bored in the first interview.
--------
27 years later ...
I look at with compassion the girl I was and thank this "mess" for showing me the way to go :-))
YES - LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. I always say !
How about you ?? Is this your back getting stuck? The plaques of eczema arising? Do you hit or bump yourself everywhere? Do you violently relieve yourself in the fridge?
It is already becoming more serious, maybe?
Even if we were born wise ... (on a contrary to what I said earlier:-)) ...gently, anger creeps into us. Educated to hide, we have no choice but to let it set in. Over the years, it becomes multi layered and of multiple origins.
Uncontrollable, the anger grows, takes strength and leads our lives.
Are you still surprised by your own reactions? Your aggression ?? Your violence ???
By shame or blindness, we call it: Fatigue. Thus, to the tune of "inner fatigue" we SCRATCH outside.
Then one day, we fight against the life ... before fighting against yourself.
You know it, anger can devour our body as well as our thoughts.
Fortunately, that hurts (YES !!)
This is because we don't want suffering that we are forced to seek other paths to calm our inner demons
"Staying in anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it to someone else, you burn yourself” Buddha